ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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