ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
