Where did you get a picture of my penis
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize