I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
