dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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