don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have fence marks all over my body
you made out with another girl for some wings
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
