Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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