Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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