I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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