I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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