did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
