Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
