What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
