i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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