My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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