I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
