Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i now understand why vodka
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
