turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
