So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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