i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
