what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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