I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I didn't notice because vodka
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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