Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
