K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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