eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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