Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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