One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
