the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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