He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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