It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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