I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
