I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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