It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
