I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
