Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
