I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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