So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize