Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
