Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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