when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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