I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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