like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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