mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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