would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
