And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
