Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
