my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
