I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
