I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
