Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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