what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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