We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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