Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
