Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
