so that wasnt chicken after all
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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