I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she told me i tasted like america
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
