its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize