Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize