pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
