DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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