omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize