Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
