I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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