I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
