i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
