I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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