It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
