I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
