I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Terrible idea I love it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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